Each morning's meditation and communication

Each morning, after the zen raking, the yoga, the walk down the drive, the sweeping out of the cottage, the watering of the plants, and the feeding of the wild birds and squirrels, the drinking of tea, I sit down and write in my journal as to how many hot air balloons are rising, if I had any unusual animal or bird visitations, as this morning, with the deer outside my door! -- I read in an anthology, an essay by a woman living in the West or South West of Ameria, as this is very different territory for me. The editors say the following: ….”out there”, objectively, but in a deeply personal intimate, and self revealing way, “in here”, as forms of the interior life discovered in the wild wonderful world of landforms and life forms…witnessing both the ever –changing, ever – mysterious life of the natural world and the vivid, creative, evolving life of the writer herself…writing that testifies in some significant way to the topography of place and of spirit, that explores the congruence of where we are and who we are….writing that celebrates womens’ bodies, senses, memories, identities, and spiritual selves within the context of place: plains and mountains, deserts and canyons, farm fields and forests, empty wilderness and the wildness of urban nature…’ writing that suggested how imagination and spirit intersect with the experience of nature in transforming and redeeming ways, and what potential these experiences and transformations might hold for us.” Writer revealed essential parts of herself describing the transformation brought about by her experience in the natural world.” …not just nature writing.”…voices of hundreds of women, singing their lives, singing their songs, singing the land.” …to experience the land in the same way that we experience our bodies, our minds, our spirits.” We can have a profound connection with the earth and that our engagement can change our lives. We can still find ourselves at home in the world. “ Susan Wittig Albert This makes a lot of sense to me and describes my situationOne of the writer articulates my situation exactly, as well: “ I wanted silence. My daydreams were full of places I longed to be, shelters and solitudes. I wanted a room apart from others, a hidden cabin to rest in. I wanted to be in a redwood forest with trees so tall the owls were out in the daytime...“And how often have I wanted to escape to a wilderness where a human hand has not been in everything. But those were only dreams of peace, of comfort, of a nest inside a stone or wood, a sanctuary where a dream or life couldn’t be invaded.” P. 8 But of course, the life is invaded. This is a 300 acre conservancy and what happens; men drive across a narrow strip to get to a shooting range and all day long,today, though not every day, -- for the most part, I hear guns...and after my years in Central Asia, the Caucasus and in Russia, guns mean "war". Can't men think of something better to do than go out and shoot a gun, to say, "I am"...and if they are so in love with it, why not enroll in the army or become a policeman? Find a social value for their "outlet". When the shooting is unceasing, I feel I am in a war zone especially if I am recalling Kosovo or Macedonia or almost any of the countries I lived in which were small countries where violence was felt on an intimate day to day basis. It is ironic that a place that is supposed to be for tranquillity and for repose for creative activity is molested by gun holders. They have no respect; the response is"who are we hurting?" We are not breaking any law..." so what happened to "disturbing the peace" or being a "nuisance" or the noise element; if it were teenagers playing music too loud, the police would be called and they would have to stop it. It was horrid, today; I thought each shot was for me, by the end of the day, it had become so personalized and internalized. The only way I survive it is to stay detached, but if I am writing, I become vulnerable. Anyway, the book is really useful and I am hearing from women who would be friends...and they are giving me another view of life than my friends in Manhattan and Philadelphia, Washington DC and Connecticut, along with Baltimore. I look forward to the next entry each morning. In that way the book is a friend and true companion.